Thursday 9 July 2009
On coming up short
Don't you hate that thing that happens when you're sailing along, flowing and moving and feeling at one with the winds of the universe. . .and then you just hit a lull? Come up against a stagnant pocket of air, for no reason at all? Its so dull. I feel like a gray Tuesday afternoon, and I am not especially fond of Tuesdays. I prefer Saturday nights, when the city is a shiny blur, or Sunday mornings that radiate lazily like circles on a still pond. And it all comes down to the cold realisation that next week my happy little tour is a memory and I am a 'resting' actress again, with no idea of how to put food on the table between now and the start of my next job, a month away. I choose this life over any other; doubt may be an unpleasant condition but certainty is an absurd one. But that doesn't stop me waking in the night with knitted brow and having to remind myself to have faith.
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As your new week begins and you find yourself a 'resting' actress once more, I hope you do have faith. It is a rich life indeed, to have the courage to forsake the certain and the mediocre in the pursuit of your dreams. It sounds terribly romantic and wildly adventurous (the two commodities I value most -no wonder i left my heart in India). How many British Pounds is a life of doubts, and perils, and romance, and adventure worth? Surely infinitely more than what you would make if you worked 5 decades at the same accounting firm (most stable, boring job that I could thing of). So, there you go, just imagine yourself working as an accountant with your soul being absolutely sucked out every day, and then I'm sure you'll have faith to press on! Also, remember that you're fabulously talented and that you have something to give the world that only you can give!
ReplyDeleteOh, how cruel it is that we should be kindred spirits in the right family but on the wrong continent! Thank you, wonderful girl.
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