Wandering Through The Land Of Stupid

I cannot shake the nagging suspicion that I am going through a very dumb phase in my personal development. In recent years, I do believe I've chosen to unknow so much that I vaguely recall knowing before. This must have something to do with the waning hunger for new knowledge, as I struggle to juggle adult tasks like keeping the flat in a state sanitary enough for habitation and negotiating my way to work on time and making enough money to buy groceries. I never thought being an adult could be so dull. I seem to recall my parents making it look like so much fun as I staggered around in mummy's high heels and helped daddy plant pretty flowers in our garden in Singapore. After this exhausting week, physically and mentally, I have cocooned myself in cashmere and retreated to the sofa to soothe myself with fish fingers (perfect comfort food) and the Sunday Times. I like the Sunday Times because, for a brief hour or so, I feel a tiny bit more informed and a bit less ignorant. But my lack of knowledge about my world is frustrating me. I hate feeling stupid, especially when I know I'm not. I've often dreamed of going to study at Oxford or Cambridge. But I've set myself the task of learning how to negotiate successfully through the world before I closet myself away from it.